IF Obama Had Been President In…

April, 1789: At the urging of some loyal followers, newly sworn-in President Obama accepts the title of King Barack I, thus prefiguring the actions of the occupant of the White House beginning in 2009. He reverts back to being the President after what happened to King Louis XVI on January 21, 1793.1

August, 1814: While the British stormed Washington D.C., the President and his family were vacationing in the Northwest Territory as he was attending party fund-raisers. In the place of Gilbert Stuart’s portrait of George Washington in the White House, we would marvel at one of King George III today.

November, 1863: There would not have been a Gettysburg Address. No teleprompters yet.

November, 1904: He wins re-election on an anti-violence campaign with the slogan, “Speak softly and ban all sticks.”

May, 1933: The President signs into law the TVA (Texas Voting Act). This law allows any person who is at least 12-years old and immigrating from Mexico and Central America to vote without any identification so as not to expose his undocumented status. By the November 1936 election, the number of votes in a U.S. general election exceeds the official population for the first time. What a turnout!

December, 1941: After the bombing of Pearl Harbor, he would have imposed sanctions on all avocadoes and oranges imported from Japan. Today, California’s state debt would be ¥78.6 trillion.3

February, 1951: The President would have issued an executive order negating the recently ratified 22nd Amendment limiting a president to two terms.4 He fondly recalled this action when leaving the White House in January, 2001 after serving thirteen terms.

January, 1961: In his famous inaugural address, the President would have said, “Ask not what you can do for your country, but ask what I, your savior, can do for you – and I’ll borrow from China if I have to.”

October, 1962: Upon learning that the Soviets were sending offensive weapons to Cuba, the President would have drawn a line in the sand of Miami’s beaches. Today, our country’s primary languages become Russian and Japanese. The practice of English would be restricted to church buildings.

June, 1972: After discovery of the break-in at the Watergate complex, the President would have claimed that it was motivated by the March 1, 1972 episode of the television series Mannix, entitled “Scapegoat.”5 James McCord would have been put in charge of the investigation. The net result would have been the resignation of the manager of operations at the Watergate complex later that year and conveniently just before the 1972 presidential election.

September, 1983: After the downing of Korean Air Lines Flight 007, the President asks for forgiveness for whatever the U.S. has done to upset our enemies. He announces an acceleration of his unilateral SDI (Sorrowful Disarmament Implementation) where he planned to reduce the U.S.’s weapons to below World War II levels. (Emboldened by this, Soviet leader Gorbachev challenges the U.S. to “tear down this country” and the voters comply with their election decisions in 2008 and 2012.)

September, 2001: Once the world learned of the tragic events of that September 11, the President immediately goes on a vacation with his family to the Northwest Territory which included attending fund-raisers, proving once again that history repeats itself, if the citizens allow it.

1 – Wikipedia, history of King Louis XVI of France
2 – Wikipedia, history of the Tennessee Valley Authority
3 – or $778 billion, from http://www.statebudgetsolutions.org
4 – http://www.consitutioncenter.org
5 – http://www.thrillingdetective.com/mannix

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